DH and I have a communication problem. He's a punster and I'm a literalist.
We were cruising along in the mini-van one sunny afternoon with the rugrats napping in their car seats, when this all came to a head (figuratively, not literally--there weren't any heads in the street for us to drive towards.)
You see, he had mentioned something about carpet shampooers (You can check out the archives of his blog, as I refuse to inflict such harm onto any poor, unsuspecting readers). I in turn, gave him "that look."
DH: "Don't give me that look."
Me: "What look?"
DH: "That look. Just laugh. It eases the agony"
That was followed by an hour of pirate jokes.
DH: "What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?"
Me: "When would they have time to go school, between plunders at sea?"
DH: "No, the answer is aaaaaart."
Me: "What about aaaaarithmatic. Seems like that one would be more helpful for calculating their money captured, versus their costs in travel, not to mention life insurance policies, in order to find out if they are more profitable in different locations. Although, I suppose aaaart could come in handy for them to recognize whether the aaaartwork they were stealing was valuable. But I think that would fall under aaaaart appreciation, as opposed to the applied aaaaarts."
He refused to talk to me for nearly 15 minutes. Until...
DH: "What's a pirate's favorite vegetable?"
Me: "Gads."
DH: "Wrong! an arrrrrtichoke!"
12 comments:
Kirsten, you are hilarious! In fact, you two should take your act on the road, a'la Burns and Allen. If you ever throttled him, it would be ruled justifiable homicide. And he only gets worse as he gets older. Oh dear...do you realize what that means?
Kirsten, I would really like to thank you. You have done our family a favor by listening to your DH's jokes. If it weren't for you we'd be inundated with "not so smart" jokes. By taking the brunt of his jokes you have saved the sanity (Steve, be quiet) of our family.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender says, "hey, what is that wheel doing attached to your crotch?" The pirate replies, "aaar, it's drivin me nuts."
...sorry
ooooohh! That was worse than Steve's jokes usually are, you've been hanging around Steve too much.
I don't understand where this Joke hostility stems from. I've never told a bad joke in my life.
For example:
A termite walks into a bar, looks around, and asks, "Where's the bar tender?"
Or...
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "hey, we have a drink named after you." The grass hopper replies, "you have a drink named Steve?"
You can click HERE for Steve recipes.
I'm turing into my DH:
Click Here
Was it national talk like a pirate day? (Really there is one) or is this "normal" behavior *grin*?
It was the day after National Talk like a Pirate Day. (I missed it due to forgetfulness).
I admit the Pirate jokes can be a bit corny, but my real jokes are a completely different story.
I'm in stitches over here. Not sure which is more comical... the DH jokes or the fact that you two compliment each other so well.
That reminds me.
This man walks into a bar. Says, "OUCH."
If you don't get that one, it's not my fault. Think about it.
Any more jokes like Nuje and WH, and you will be banned! ;-)
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